Sensitivity

An angel once asked me, “What is your superpower?” Meaning, what quality have you been graced with? Here’s a clue: This blessing may disguise itself as an obstruction, but only because you have yet to become aware of how to harness it’s energy. Sensitivity. My biggest fault and hinderance in life is how monstrously overly-sensitive I am. I loathed this part of myself. I detested this uncontrollable quality of mine. Every tear shed was shoved into a box labeled “Pathetic, Abysmal, Useless Junk”. This angel directed me to a gnosis that would change my life: In a sleep of ignorance, I have blindly mistaken myself for this little box. Sensitivity rejected feels like a prison. It makes you feel separated in a world where all you unwittingly yearn for is union. A refusal to your natural and spontaneous sensitivity gives birth to anxiety, panic, depression, and chronic worry. The delicateness of your intuitive response to life opens you in the most profound vulnerability. This rawness can either be the greatest gift to the world, or it can harden you. If ego tries to mend this wound, you become a living scar in which all your words, thoughts, and actions are used to unskilfully protect this false sense of self. Everything that comes close to this scar you judge; the greatest misfortune of all being that, in the messy knot of good and bad, you lose yourself in the harshness of the inner critic that continually proclaims how you are, and will never be, good enough. We must find that soft spot in us that surrenders the boundaries in which we have boxed ourselves into. We have two choices: to either let life’s circumstances harden us and build walls of resentment and fear around our hearts, or we allow them to soften us. We find compassion, kindness, and openness to what scares us. We gently allow the walls of our heart to be broken. We find the beautiful rawness and connection to existence within our broken hearts. This is our bond to all those who have ever loved. When the world feels too stimulating for this open heart and you find yourself in a cycle of wanting to hide, retreat, and be closed within yourself, pause and take a breath. Try and truly feel what this over-stimulation is like. How is it in the body? How is it in the mind? Without judgment, observe the buzzing nature of it. Rather than allowing this stimulation to exhaust and stunt you, gather in all the energy within and behind it and send it into your heart. I promise, what once completely drained you of all your zeal and motivation, will now invigorate you with excitement, inspiration, and passion. You are a limitless reservoir of energy. The way you access the infinite energy of your being is by catching every time your heart begins to clamp shut, and choosing to remain open. There are drastic physical sensations behind both an open and closed heart. One may understand this intellectually, but it takes the courage and fiery desire to look, feel, and truly know this wisdom. When you begin to accept your sensitivity with joy and love, you become the embodiment of life itself. Surrendering into your sensitive nature, you form a more intimate relationship with creation and an intuitive understanding for the reality occurring outside and inside of you. The sublime nature of all life is sensitive, so you make your return home to this deep connection with yourself and every being and thing around you. This connection, I am certain, is all we have ever wanted. Remain open and receptive to whatever life presents you. Welcome in the immense power of your vulnerability, and own your sensitivity as your greatest superpower. Wake up to the undeniable fact that you are not the box of rejected labels. You are the perfect, sensitive, raw magnificence of reality.